i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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