I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
