I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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