Whod you bang
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize