i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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