if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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