He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
