your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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