I love black thongs
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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