Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
