We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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