I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
