This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
