Pappa wants mamma naked
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
