that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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