Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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