i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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