ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
