i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
