k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
