I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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