Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
