i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
