Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
