He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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