I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
