She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
