Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
