Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
