OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
foreskin is a definite game changer
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
