Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
