i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
