why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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