She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
