I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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