I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Even my vagina gasped.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize