could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
