you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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