You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
