is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
