i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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