That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
