I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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