i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
