Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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