we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
