Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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