its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
