omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
