it hurts more in the daytime
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
