Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
