So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
