That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
