i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
