doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize