I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
