Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I look better un-naked...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
