I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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