doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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